


Nothing To Be Afraid Of

by emthefireybird



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Biting, First Meetings, M/M, Not set in cannon, POV First Person, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 21:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18859357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emthefireybird/pseuds/emthefireybird
Summary: Simon was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He's going to take advantage of that.





	Nothing To Be Afraid Of

As I stand stock still, my hands shaking slightly, I hear voices. Both sound male, one being more raspy than the other.

“-ut you really think it’s okay?” The lighter voice asks.

“Yes, it’s okay. I know you’ve been helping me out for a while but your daughter is more important. I’ll find someone new.” The gruff voice responds, sounding sympathetic.

“Are you sure? We’re blood bound after all.” The other voice asks. “Blood bound”? Isn’t that a term between vampires are their donors? A chill runs up my spine as I realize I’m eavesdropping on a vampire. My hands shoot up to cover my gasp on instinct, rustling the trash bags beside me.

“Did you hear that?” The gruff voice asks the other. I tense completely, standing as still as physically possible.

“No?” The other person responds, sounding concerned.

“Whatever. You should get back to your daughter.” The gruff voice says. I listen closely as the footsteps fade into the distance. When they finally leave earshot I let out a breath, stepping away from the wall. As I go to turn the corner, I freeze in my tracks. One of the men is still standing there.

“Well aren’t you just so convenient?” The man says, seeming annoyed. It seems that he’s the vampire of the two. Frankly, you can tell just by looking at him. He has an angular face with high cheekbones, long black hair, and pointed ears that poke out from his curtain of hair. He looks like Dracula in a leather jacket.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.” I tell him, raising my hands as a sign of surrender. He gives me a quick up and down.

“I’d say it’s fine and just let you be, but it’s really not.” The man sighs, looking at me. He has piercing eyes, somewhere between chartreuse and cat’s-eye yellow. The contrast against his black hair makes them all the more prominent.

“Why? I didn’t see who your donor was, and no offense, but it’s not like you being vampire could be a secret. You can tell just by looking at you.” I tell him, surprised at my own boldness. His face morphs from intimidating to surprised as he blinks a few times, clearly taken aback.

“Well… why shouldn’t I just kill you here and now?” He asks. He’s definitely trying to scare me, but he poses it far too much like a genuine question for me to be scared. His posture is anything but intimidating, his shoulder leaned against the wall of the alley casually, like he is talking to a friend.

“You won’t.” I shrug. He’s just threatening me because he doesn’t know how to respond to genuine criticism. It’s not that I think he can’t kill me, I’m not dense, he just doesn’t… seem like the type? It’s a strange thing to say about a vampire, but it’s true. His conversation with the other man may have left me a bit biased, but he seems like he’s just genuinely nice.

He huffs a breath. “You don’t know me.” He crosses his arms and frowns like a grumpy teenager. I decide I can push a little more before I leave.

“You’re right. Maybe you’ll just kill me as I run away. I prefer to walk though, make it easy for you.” I pass him slowly, walking leisurely out of the alley. I can tell he’s not going to do anything. My only worry is that he might follow me, Interested by the fact that I treated him like an edgy teenager and not the weapon he sees himself as.

I walk for another ten minutes along my route home before I realize he really is following me. It’s not obvious, and I can’t really see him, but the absence of any other noise or traffic combined with my heightened senses point him out almost immediately.

I turn and notice a shadow quickly ducking between the alley adjacent to the sidewalk I’m on. I can very clearly see him following me now, and I’m fairly sure he’s not even trying to hide at this point. I continue walk leisurely, not looking as I don’t want to give in to the game he’s trying to play.

 

Though, eventually, I get sick of it.

“If you want something, just come and say so!” I stop in my tracks, waiting. It’s a quiet side street in the middle of the night, so we’re completely alone. I’d be a fool to say that doesn’t bother me a bit, but I would also be a fool to show I’m worried.

It takes but a few moments before he slinks out of the shadows.

“What do you want?” I ask, crossing my arms. My heartbeat is racing. He’s a tall, imposing shadow as he approaches me, his jade-like eyes are the only thing that stands out.

“I just want to know, why aren’t you afraid of me?” He asks. Great. It worked. He has no idea I’m ready to scream at any moment. However, I’ve made him interested in me, which some would argue is rather bad.

“Nothin’ to be afraid of.” I shrug. I think I’m pushing my luck at this point, but I’m too curious to stand down now. At this point, what I’m saying is a challenge. We both know it. The idea sends a shiver down my spine.

“Oh, you really think so?” He pushes, the air seems fragile, somehow. I know this is my ‘out’ moment, but if I take it I think it may be worse than if I don’t. Though, I have no idea if he’d just leave me alone if I lost my interest factor.

“I really think so.” I respond. At this point I think I’m either insane or an idiot adrenaline junky. It may be both. The man cracks a smile, baring his sharp teeth. My shoulders tense up at the sight.

“Would you like to prove it?” He steps towards me, appearing inches from my nose in the blink of an eye. My pulse flutters. I say nothing. He slowly reaches for my shoulder. “You know, you remind me of someone I know. I think you’ve met him.” The donor. He’s talking about his donor.

“Really?” I murmur, trying to keep him talking.

“Yeah, he wasn’t afraid of me either. Well, after a while he was afraid at first, too. You… you’ve been afraid this whole time, just like him. I have to say, you’re pretty good at hiding it.” My eyebrows furrow as I attempt to process all of what he’s saying. How could he know? “I know because I can hear your heart beating.” He leans in at this point, his breath whispering over my skin. I feel my heartbeat pick up again. There’s no way I can stop it. There’s no way I can stop him. He knows I’m afraid. There’s a pause where neither of us make a sound, it’s simply just him standing in my space, waiting. “Are you going to stop me?” He asks. 

The question seems strange after all he just said. He was trying to intimidate me for the past while, now he was basically asking permission. Then, I realize I’m exactly right about him. He’s no murderer or monster, he’s simply curious, just like me.

“No.” I answer, surprising myself. After the word leaves my mouth I realize exactly how true it is. From the moment I stopped walking and challenged him I was asking for this to happen. I wanted this to happen.

His hand trails from my shoulder to the neck of my jacket, slowly pulling it away from my neck. I close my eyes, bracing. “The more you tense up the more it will hurt.” He informs me quietly, leaning ever closer. I attempt to relax as much as I can. The pain is sharp, making me suck in a breath. It takes only seconds to fade, the sensation replaced by a strange numbness that spreads from my shoulder to the rest of my body. 

I grab onto his jacket, my legs beginning to feel like they’re going to give out. My head swims, and I feel strangely light. The numbness has turned to a strange buzz that comes in waves.

My vision fades to nothing, and then I’m gone.

When I come back to, I have no idea how long it’s been. I’m warm, and I feel something like a hand on my head. It disappears the moment I open my eyes. 

I immediately look over and find the vampire sitting beside me. He has a notebook balanced on his knee and a pen in his hand, but he’s not doing anything with it, he’s looking at me. 

“Where are we?” I ask quietly, looking around. The room is dark and slightly cramped, setup like a studio apartment. The decor is more… homey than I expected from him, but it’s cute.

“My place.” He answers, and I can still feel him looking at me as I peer around the room. It slowly dawns on me that he must’ve carried me here after I fainted. I note my heartbeat picking up again. Ever since he told me he could hear it I’ve been for more conscious of it. I reach for the bite my neck, rubbing at it. The vampire tracks the movement. It’s completely healed over, miraculously. I’ve never heard of that.

Is this the moment where I’m meant to make a run for it? Sprint for the door? Probably, but I don’t particularly want to. 

I look back over at the vampire, meeting his ever-piercing eyes. The vampire. I should probably know his name by now, shouldn’t I?

“What’s your name?” I ask him. He gives me a look.

“I’ve had a lot of names over the years. You can call me Baz.” He shrugs. Baz. It’s a fitting name.

“My name’s Simon.” I respond. The room falls quiet. I want to ask him more about himself, but there’s a strange air around us, like the silence is meant to be there.

“Are those your only questions?” He asks. He closes his book and sets it on the nightstand. I almost want to see what’s in it.

“No, but I’m not sure what to ask you.” I respond honestly.

“How old I am, who else I’ve been over the years, that’s what they usually ask.” He shrugs.

“ ‘They’ as in your other victims?”

“Yes, if you want to call them that.”

“What else would I call them?” I ask, giving him a look. He returns it.

“Well most of them are more ‘donors’ than ‘victims’.”

“Which one am I?” I ask, turning more fully towards him as we talk.

“That’s up to you.” There’s a long pause then, and I don’t know what to say. What would be the difference? If I let him do it again? Honestly, I might be partial to that.

“So, what happens now?” I ask him. He looks puzzled.

“What?” He gives me a confused look.

“I mean, I’m sure you’ve brought your vic- donors here before, what usually happens now?” I ask him.

“I… I’ve never brought anyone here but you.” He looks almost embarrassed to admit it, which confuses me even more than previously. I watch as his demeanor changes from relaxed to… coy?

“Oh.” I respond flatly, unsure what to say. Why would he bring me here over all of the other people he’s interacted with? “Why?” I ask quietly, looking at him for an answer.

“Um, well-” He immediately looks flustered, and I imagine he would be blushing if he has the blood in his veins to do so. “I’m not sure how to… it’s hard to explain.” He sighs, not meeting my eyes.

“Okay, let me ask you something a bit easier, do you want me to stay?”

“...yes.” He’s still not looking at me at all.

“Why?” I ask him. It’s a simple question, but I know it’s hard to answer.

“I… you…” He gets up and begins pacing slowly, back and forth. It lasts at least a few minutes before I again become frustrated with his beating around the bush. When he comes closest to me, I grab his hand. 

“Why do you want me here with you.” I ask him, looking up into his cat-like eyes. They’re beautiful, really, under the dim lamp light.

“You… you’re different than the others.” He looks frustrated, as if trying to articulate something he doesn't quite understand. He keeps glancing down at our hands, and I think I may be beginning to understand.

“Why, because I was an ass when I met you?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood. I see the corner of his mouth curl. I know I’m deflecting too at this point, but anything to break the tension, really.

“That’s one way to say it, I’d like to think that it’s more… well you talked to me like I was just a person.” He shrugs again, sitting down beside me, our hands still touching.

“I did.”

“Even though you were afraid of me.” He stares down at his lap with his eyebrows furrowed. I’m starting to grow fond of his confused looks.

“Yes.” I respond.

“Why?” It was my turn to have a puzzled expression on my face. Well, I talked to him like that to diffuse the situation. But… I was also curious.

“I wanted to get to know you.” I tell him, honestly.

“Really?” His hand folds further into mine as he asks. He seems like he doesn’t believe me, but that he wants to.

“Yes.” He finally meets my gaze fully. There’s something in his eyes… hope, maybe.

“I guess… I guess I want you to stay because I like you?” He likes me? Does he mean…?

“I like you too.” I respond, squeezing his hand. He glances down, then looks back at me.

“I mean, not like the way you think-” He begins to grow flustered again.

“No, I mean it exactly the way you mean it.” I place my other hand on the side of his face. It feels like his yellow eyes are burrowing into my soul.

“Are you sure? Because I-” I cut him off with a kiss.

 

“I’m sure.”


End file.
